PORKY
The l-l-last time I saw you, about, eh, t-two weeks ago now, we were working on the, eh, C-Carlos Vittery statement, the eh-wuh, eh-wuh, eh-wuh, eh-one with the man who d-died trapped in eh-sp-spiderwebs. I remember that you were eh-c, eh-c, eh-c—eh, w-worried about it, even though it seemed n-normal enough to us. After all, eh, c-cartoons have that de—eh-de—eh-de—eh-d-device all the time. I should, eh, p-probably apologize for that, but I’ll g-get there.
Anyway, I eh-w, eh-w, eh-went to the apartment building you eh-g-g-gave me the address for. It eh-l, eh-l, eh-looked normal enough, a-as these things go, but I, eh, I-I went up to the door. When I eh-g, eh-g, eh-got closer, I saw eh-s-something on the grass just outside the door. I th-thought it, eh, m-might have been something someone dropped, but when I g-g-got closer, I saw that it was a white eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh—
DAFFY
For heaven’th thake, thpit it out!
PORKY
I saw that it was a white worm, black on one end, like it had been burned away at some point.
I eh-p, eh-p, eh-panicked, and I eh-s-stomped on it before I thought about it. It burst with a, eh, a l-loud pop, like someone’s eh-h-head exploding. Not as much m-mess as I would have, eh, thought for that n-n-noise, but still a lot of eh-bl, eh-bl, eh-black slime. I w-wiped my foot off on the, eh, g-grass and went up to the, eh, d-door. I r-rang and r-rang, but nobody answered. That’s not eh-n-n-normal for me, you know. Usually the door, eh, c-creaks open or eh-s-somebody opens it, but this—n-nothing. I w-wasn’t about to a-admit that, though, so I thought I’d, eh, I’d find another w-way in.
The b-b-basement window was open, eh-j-just a little, so I eh-f, eh-f, eh-f, eh-forced it open and squeezed in. It was a, eh, a t-tighter fit than I had e-expected, but I managed it. The b—eh-b—eh-b—eh-basement was pretty dusty and cluttered, but it eh-s-seemed harmless enough, like you’d e-expect from any other basement, so I m-m-made my way up the stairs.
I d—eh-d—eh-d—eh-d—eh-didn’t have much luck there, unfortunately. I knocked on the d-door of, eh, N-Number Four, where M-Mr. Vittery used to eh-l, eh-l, eh-l, eh-live, but the, eh, o-old woman who answered didn’t eh-s-speak much English, and she seemed a-a little scared of me. I t—eh-turned around, and there was a m-man standing behind me who didn’t look happy to eh-s, eh-s, eh-see me either. I t-told him I was l-l-looking into Mr. Vi—eh-Vi—eh-Vi—eh-Vittery, and he didn’t get m-much nicer. It, eh, t-turned out he was the owner of the b-building, Mr. Yasir Kundi. He, eh, he eh-w, eh-w, eh-wasn’t thrilled about a, eh, p-pig in his building, but I l-lied and said one of the eh, u-upstairs residents had b-buzzed me in. He told me Mr. Vittery was a g-g-good resident, a little eh-w, eh-w, eh-w, eh—l-loony, but paid his rent on time. Used to have a c-cat, but now it lived with the, eh, the Sandersons in Number T—eh, Two. He was, eh, s-surprised to hear about his death, but couldn’t eh-s-say much more about it, so I came back here to report. And, as I’m sure you kn—eh-know, that was the last time I saw you before I d-disappeared.
I was on my way eh-home when I wondered if there was m-more I could do. After all, we all know cats are m-more talkative than most, eh, p-people who aren’t Toons think, so m-maybe if it was the end of the, eh, the w-workday I’d be able to catch the Sandersons and eh-g, eh-g, eh-get their permission to talk to the cat. And then I re—eh-re—eh-re—eh-remembered seeing c-cobwebs in the, eh, th-the basement.