The only th—eh, th—eh-th—eh, things I could remember were that she said she was a w-witch, a-and that she’d killed, eh, s-six people. She never talked to m-me. I could have, eh, I-I could have heard her through the d-door, but she never t-tried. I d—eh, d—eh, d—eh-d—eh, don’t know if that would have m-made a difference or not, but it t-told on me.
Then, this m-morning, she was g-gone. I don’t know how I kn—eh, knew it, but i-it wasn’t the same as when she was, eh, just n-not knocking. It was like—a-an absence. I can’t, eh, I-I can’t hear the background music like you can, D-Daffy, but if I could, her, eh, her m-motif would have stopped playing. It eh-st, eh-st, eh-still took me a couple of ho-hours to open the door, b-but when I did, she was g-gone.
I didn’t stop to g—eh, g—eh, g—eh, g—eh, grab anything. I just r-ran. I r-ran the whole way h-here, and—a-and here I am.
DAFFY
Thtatement endth.
Porky, are you thure about all of thith?
PORKY
Of course. I wouldn’t l-lie to you.
I l—eh, l—eh, l—eh, l-like this job. M-most of the time. I-it’s not cartooning, but i-it’s a n-nice challenge.
DAFFY
In that cathe, there’th a cot in the offithe. I uthe it thometimeth when I’m working late. It’th not a Murphy bed, which meanth it’th lethth likely to fold itthelf up with you inthide it. You can thleep on that for now. And I’ll talk to Bugth about hiring thome more thecurity.
WILE E. COYOTE
You think security is truly necessary?
DAFFY
Lithten, buthter, I’ve theen a lot of thtuff in the latht theventy-eight yearth, ten monthth, three weekth, and three dayth, but I’ve never theen a human being acthually turn into a Toon. Dithguithing yourthelf ath a Toon ith one thing, but you can’t actually turn into one. Tho Jane Prentithth ith thtill human, which meanth the thtuff we uthually uthe for defenthe ithn’t going to cut the muthtard. The lockth on the Archiveth thhould be thtrong enough for now, though. And it’th humidity controlled, thuppothedly, even though it hathn’t been working for thome time, tho nothing’th getting through any crackth.
PORKY
You b—eh, b—eh, believe me? N-not that I’m not g—eh, grateful, but why?
TWEETY
Dwanny wouwdn’t have.
DAFFY
You thaid you lotht your phone two weekth ago?
PORKY
Th-thereabouts.
DAFFY
Well. In that time, I’ve retheived theveral texthtth from you thaying that you were thick with thtomach iththueth. The latht one thaid you thought it might be a parathite. It’th not even like in the cartoonth, where there’th an obviouth forethhadowing that it’th not you on the other end.
Here, look at—
[PHONE BUZZING]
PORKY
Wh—eh, w—eh, w-what is it?
DAFFY
Another textht. From you.
“Keep him. We’ve had our fun. He will want to thee it when the Archivitht’th crimthon fate arriveth.”
PORKY
Eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w, eh-w-w—eh, h-help me out here, guys.
TWEETY
What does dat mean, Daffy?
DAFFY
It meanth I’m not athking Bugth for more thecurity, I’m telling him. I’m altho having a look through the Archiveth mythelf. I think we have a thtatement from Mithth Prentithth herthelf in here thomewhereth.
WILE E. COYOTE
You truly think it is she, then?
TWEETY
Sewiouswy?
DAFFY
I’ve never been more theriouth in my life. I know that’th not hard for a Toon, ethpecially one like me, but I mean it. If Jane Prentithth ith after any of my thtaff, she’th going to have to go through me to do it.
End recording.
[CLICK]
“Thtatement endth.” Daffy lowered the page and rubbed his forehead. “Tho here’th the thing. The firtht thing, anyway. Tweety found a copy of Mithter Ramao’th marriage lithenthe. It exthithtth, it’th all nithe and legal, it’th thigned, it’th dated, and it’th half blank. I’d think it wath filled in with Marvin Acme’th Diththappearing/Reappearing Ink, if that wath thtill being manufactured…when wath thith thtatement made? Two thouthand and twelve…no, wait, he mentioned Jothheph Heller’th latht book tour. I went to hith latht tour, becauthe I had found the only thurviving copy of hith verthion of the thrcript for Cathino Royale and I wanted hith thignature on it. That wath…ninety-theven? Ninety-eight? Thomething like that. If he wath married to hith huthband then, then maybe there wath…” He shook his head impatiently. “Don’t let’th be thilly. Acme’th Diththappearing/Reappearing Ink hathn’t been legal to uthe on contractth or lithentheth thinthe the whole fiathco with Toon Town. There’th no way. Tho thomething mutht have…thtolen the information. Thomehow.”
He frowned at the statement. “The Warnerth…I know them, all too well. If thith were any other thituation, I’d think Mithter Ramao had jutht acthidentally bought thomething meant for a Toon, but thith feelth…deliberate. Anyway, there have been rumorth about what the Warnerth have been up to thinthe their thhow went off the air, and even before that. They might have been locked up in the thtudio water tower, but even before it wath documented, they were definitely breaking out and going platheth. I remember a thtudent project at Acme Looniverthity about that. Point ith, even dithcounting their inthidental mention in a previouth thtatement—I thhould have looked that up before I thtarted—they’ve been involved in theveral…dubiouth acquithitionth. I thuthpect there wath…”